The Xpertek Hockey News

Too much T&A for heavy-legged Xpertek HC
Management shocked by uninspired effort

Ottawa – The doors to the Xpertek HC dressing room remained closed to the media long after the division-leading club suffered a 4-1 loss to the Trains & Airplanes in Sunday evening’s marquee OSMHL match-up.

Sources say that team management was unimpressed with the uninspired effort and vowed to crack down on all extra-curricular activities that might influence the team’s showing on the ice.

“We’re told that one of our players – Adam Hendriks – had the audacity to invite his teammates to wedding festivities held in his honour,” said the source, who spoke on the condition of anonymity.

“Hendriks should have known that we could be playing the next night, and therefore should have postponed his wedding to the off-season, cancelled it altogether, or at the very least chosen to get married mid-week, when the team rarely plays.”

While team officials were understandably upset with Hendriks, it was team rep, Marty Leroux, who bore the brunt of management’s criticism.

“Leroux was there. He saw that his teammates were drinking and acting irresponsibly. He saw them showing total disregard for their bodies, but even worse, for the sacred colours of the Xpertek Construction Inc. Hockey Club, the night before a game. You would expect that a so-called team rep would understand the ramifications of such behaviour and step in to put an end to it, but what did he do? He got as drunk – if not drunker – than the rest of them.”

“That’s not leadership. That’s… that’s… that’s crappership,” the source bellowed from deep inside the bowels of Fred Barrett Arena, where the Xpertek loss brought the team’s record to 4-2 on the season.

“I’ll tell you one thing, there will be no more fun to be had outside of the rink this season. And put this in the fu**ing paper in big, bold letters so my players read it tomorrow: WEDDINGS, BIRTHDAYS, PARTIES, CHILDBIRTHS OR ANY OTHER CELEBRATIONS OF ANY KIND THAT MIGHT BRING ON DEFEAT FOR THIS TEAM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE SEASON. AND CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED FOR XPERTEK HC THIS YEAR,” the source fumed.

When asked if he saw any positives in any of the players, the source was terse in his reply: “No, and I would advise your piece of crap paper to not even bother posting a three-star selection. In my book, no-shows equal no-stars.”